


11 Simple Rules for Getting Over the Love of Your Life

by WitchStuff



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, F/M, Heartbreak, Humor, Lists, Post-Break Up, Rules
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-30
Updated: 2014-09-30
Packaged: 2018-02-19 07:43:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2380349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchStuff/pseuds/WitchStuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some helpful tips to get Finn over the Season 2 break-up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	11 Simple Rules for Getting Over the Love of Your Life

**Author's Note:**

> Sort of the bastard child of my story [_I Can't Get Off The Carousel_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2378339)

**11 Simple Rules for Getting Over the Love of Your Life**

**RULE NO. 1** First of all, enough with the _Love of Your Life_ stuff. She’s _not_ the Love of Your Life. She’s just a girl you’ve met in the summer. It’s just a summer thing. Repeat it to yourself, every morning and every evening and every time you see her: It was just a summer thing. Summer’s over, so now the thing is over. Referring to her like that is one step away from becoming John Travolta singing Summer Loving, and nobody wants that.

 **RULE NO. 2** She’s just a girl. There were girls before her, and there will be girls after her. Scratch that – there will be _women_ after her. Go out, find a real woman who will appreciate you and all the love you have to give (albeit, to some other girl) (but don’t think like that). Go out with a woman who’s older and more confident and knows what she wants, and knows for a fact that what she wants is you.

 _Do not_ parade her around for the other girl to see. That is in very bad taste. _Do not_ sit The New Girl next to The Girl and pretend you don’t even realize how awkward it is. Do not plant a big fucking wet one on New Girl’s lips just to see what The Girl does. Be a gentleman.

Seriously.

Stop that.

Oh, and find the new one a new nick name while you’re at it.

 **RULE NO. 3**   Steer clear. Fight the urge to walk repeatedly next to her classroom door just when the bell rings. Do not take the longer route to footie just to use the park entrance closest to her house. Think about what you’re doing. Even if she walks by, you have nothing to say to her. She is not available to you. Repeat that to yourself. All you’re doing is wasting time. Don’t be pathetic.

 **RULE NO. 4** Do not let her have the friends. They were your friends first, they belong to you. Don’t look at her and wonder if she’s alone and lonely. And while you’re at it, do not wonder what she’s listening to on those headphones. Fight the urge to go over and ask her about the music she’s listening to these days. That is none of your business. You had a superb musical taste before you’ve met her, and you still do. You do not need to run anything by her to know whether it’s good or bad. Do not think about her when you listen to a new song. She is surely not thinking about you, she’s thinking about another bloke.

 **RULE NO. 5** Do not stalk the other bloke. Do not wonder about him, do not ask about him. Do not listen to conversations around campus about him and her and what they’re up to. Again, that is none of your business. Do not get involved.

 **RULE NO. 6**   If you do get involved, do not volunteer to help. There is nothing you can do in this situation that will not end in tears, frustration, or getting punched in the face.

 **RULE NO. 7** Do _not_ ask if you can be mates again. Doesn’t matter how much you might miss her or worry about her, the solution can _not_ be to spend time with her while pretending you’re fine with not touching. _You are not her mate_. Remember Rule No. 3.

 **RULE NO. 8** Stay cool. If you decide to give her one more chance, do it subtly, do it carefully, make sure you word it just right so that she knows that this is her last chance to do the right thing by you. Do it in a way that, if she doesn’t go for it, or if, for example, she decides to go to a party instead, you will not come out of it looking like a twat. Make sure you put it to her in the form of a question, vague and open to many interpretations. You may come out of this conversation heartbroken, crushed and defeated, completely sad and lost, and will have to pack your things and leave town, but most importantly – she will not see what a pathetic, lovesick boy you are.

 **RULE NO. 9** Drink. You’re alone in a strange town, you don’t feel like shagging any other girl, had a fight with your dad and moved to the arse end of nowhere to do the shittiest job you could think of, just to get a girl out of your system, and she’s still there. What is left but to order pint after pint? Drink your sorrows away! Get over her the old fashion way!

Except, there’s no getting over her. You’ll have to start over, from scratch. Just build over the feelings, the wants, the desirers, missing her, feeling like she is the only person who ever really knew you. Just pave over that, so that you can find someone else who makes you feel those things. Because you will. Because you have to. Because it’s just too cruel to find the love of your life at age 17 only to lose her ten minutes later.

 **RULE NO. 10** Remember Rule No. 1.

 **RULE NO. 11** When she needs you, you _be there_. She’s your girl and she's in trouble. Forget Rules 1 to 10 and just go to her.

_Good luck!_

 

END


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